Reset

Hitting the reset button.

I haven't been truly happy for a while now. I was on an absolute high last year when I decided to prep for my first physique competition. It was the most challenging goal that I had set for myself thus far in life and I knew it was going to be extremely gratifying. What I didn't know is how much I'd learn about myself along the way. I felt amazing. I was inspired and motivated people that I truly care about. Hell, I inspired myself. I was the most proud that I had ever been of myself. 2017 was one hell of a year for me. I faced one of my biggest fears by stepping on stage (basically naked) at that competition, I started a small meal prep business, and I landed a corporate personal training job. I also managed to maintain a handful of the clients that I had the opportunity of working with through the gym that I originally started at back in July of 2014. I felt unstoppable. Once all the excitement of these changes came to an end and I began to fall back into the normalcy of life, I got stuck in a rut. Not only physically, but mentally AND emotionally as well. I'm not 100% sure what I need to do to get out of it, but I do know that the first step is hitting the reset button.

What exactly are you doing with your life?

A year and a half has gone by and I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. I've been feeling incomplete. Like I haven't been putting forth much effort to do what I truly want to be doing. I want to travel the world. I want to see places that I've only so far dreamed about. I want to make a difference in more ways than one. I want to leave a damn legacy!!! I'm the kind of girl that knows exactly what she wants, but doesn't always know exactly how to go about getting it. I'm ADD w/ a minor case of OCD and my brain is always moving a million miles a minute. I have a hard time processing my thoughts and putting them into words. This is where I get frustrated. It always takes me forever and a day to figure out what it is that I want to say. This is why I'm a pretty damn good writer (or so I think) and at times a shitty person to hold an actual conversation with in person. I'm chuckling pretty good as I type that, but unfortunately it's true!!! I've become a bit of an introvert over the past few years, so sometimes human interaction is harder than it used to be for me. This is pretty funny because as a physical trainer/lifestyle coach, I interact with individuals (sometimes on a very personal level) on a daily basis. And honestly, it can be exhausting!!! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job, but it's a lot more mentally demanding when you aren't naturally an extroverted individual. My brain is definitely wired differently than most. My client's would be the first to tell you that sometimes I need more time than the average bear to process information and get back to them with the answer that they are looking for. I'm also really good at going off on tangents (like this one) because when I'm in the zone, it all just pours out of me like a storm drain during hurricane Katrina.

We all have our shit. It's simply a matter of how we handle it.

I'm sure you can all relate to my cluster fuck of a brain from time to time. If not, you're one lucky son of a bitch! Enjoy the calm river of smooth thoughts, even keeled feelings, and steady emotions. (insert THICK sarcasm here). But seriously, we all go through crap in life and we all have the ability to bounce back. All we need is the proper amount of time to sort through our thoughts and the right people in our corner to help us smell the rosy side of any sudden pile of dog shit thrown our way. I've met some pretty damn resilient people in my 33 years on this planet and I'll tell you what, THAT is the shit that inspires me. Seeing people over come obstacles they never thought they could. Not only that, but becoming solid individuals with strong morals and the work ethic of an ox. It's pretty liberating. Hell, it's one of the few things in life that literally gives me the chills. I strive to be a little bit better each day and these people are the first thing that pops into my mind when I start to second guess things. You may or may not know who you are, but you're my inspiration non the less.

The next 3 months.

For me, these 90 days are about finding the balance that I once had and lost. The balance that made me feel sane and secure in life. The balance that made me jump out of bed in the morning like there was $100,000,000 waiting for me when I get to work. It's about finding my passion again. Falling back in love with the processes that always made me glow. Training clients, training myself, going on outdoor adventures, planning trips, and ultimately planning and executing the steps to get me to where I want to be in life. I don't know exactly where that will be, but I know it won't be exactly where I am now, and that's what excites me. It's about the journey.

Until next time,

Kelsey