5 Weeks To Go. Wait... What?!?!?!

First off, I want to congratulate my good friend Dustin Meyer who won his division AND the whole damn show at the NPC Central USA Championships in Omaha this past weekend!!! Props to him and his dedication to kicking some ass. He may not know this yet (he will now), but he put a little more fire under my ass. He's living proof that it CAN be done your first time around :) Thank you for the additional inspiration Dusty!

It's hard to believe that I've been at this for almost 13 weeks. I literally blinked and there is only a little over a month left. As I typed one month I damn near shit my pants. No joke. I will say that this has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. I definitely haven't lived up to all of the expectations that I had set for myself up until this point. I've slipped up here and there, but I'm human and I can't expect to be spot on 100% of the time. No matter what has happened, I've continued to push in order to get back on track and stay there. I've made phenomenal progress and I'm seeing outstanding changes in my body. I'm very proud of what I've done and I have no intention of stopping.

I'm in the process of turning my body into a work of art. The judges will critique me in every way possible. How symmetrical am I? How lean I am? How spot on is my posing? Can I move in a way that makes my muscles jump out at them? Can they see my muscles in ways that they can't on the women standing next to me? Do I present myself well? All of these things are racing through my mind every second of every day, and at this point in time, I don't feel like I'm going to be ready. My upper body is on point and will no doubt be killer. My arms aren't messing around, my back is shredded AF, I'm noticing a lot more vascularity, and my abs are coming in more and more each day! BUT my legs on the other hand haven't come in much and it's starting to stress me out. Aaron assured me that this is normal for women. He said they may not fully come in until 2 we're about weeks out. Wait.... WHAT?!? Talk about pushing it. I don't know about you, but that isn't soon enough for me. It stresses me out. A LOT. I've been pushing the cardio a little harder in hopes to speed up the process. I'm layering my legs as much as possible and hitting it in the morning and in the evening when I can. I'm training harder than I have ever trained before, and I'm doing it on minimal caloric intake. I won't lie. It's brutal. I'm not having as much fun as I was in the beginning, but I knew these days would come. It was just a matter of when.

The nitty gritty has officially commenced. I have to keep reminding myself of why I'm doing it, who I'm doing it for, and why I'll be better because of it. I'm always hungry and my energy level just isn't there like it used to be. I don't jump out of bed like I did 12 weeks ago. And that's discouraging to me. It's getting harder and harder not to hit snooze 6 times. I struggle to get everything done each day, but I'm taking it all one day at a time. I'm especially taking the cardio one day at a time. Lifting is the easy part. For me, the steady state crap has been the hardest part. The diet is a very close second. If it's not lean or green, I don't eat it (6 days out of the week). Mustering up the energy to run 5 + miles, or sweating it out for 55-60 mins on an elliptical with little to no carbs is usually the last thing I want to do. Especially after a 5am lifting session and working on my feet all day. But I'm learning that I am a fighter. This among other things that I've over come have proven that. It has challenged my mental and physical capacities. I hate it. I love it. I want it to stop. I want more!!! The challenges keep coming and the end keeps getting closer. I'm not sure what I'm more excited about at this point. Hanging out and EATING with my close friends and family after the show, or the show itself!! Let's say I'm equally excited about both. The only difference is that one of them doesn't make my heart race like I'm back in college speech class again.

I started at 158 lbs and 18% body fat. I'm now down to 141 lbs and under 9.7%. I knew I wanted to prove to myself that I could do something that I had been talking about for years. I knew it was time to stop talking and start acting, so here I am. This is not just a fitness journey. It's emotional, powerful, and I have high hopes that it's motivational and inspirational. Time to rock the next 4 weeks. 

Until next time!

There Is Only One You.

I started the day off on a slower note, but the morning workout helped. I also think the caffeine I consumed around 12:30 kicked in because I've been in go mode for the last 3.5 hours. End result: I decided on the design for my logo! Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

What it means.

The mirroring letters represent what you see when you look in the mirror. Maybe you like it, maybe you don't. And I'm not just talking about how you look naked. I'm talking about the package deal. Your self-esteem, self-image, self-worth, which are all the building blocks of true happiness. The point is, you can change it if you're not satisfied! You just have to make the decision to do so and put in the work it takes to find your purpose and live up to your full potential. Do this, and loving yourself will be easy. I promise.

There is only one you.

This tagline came to me right away. We are only given one chance at this life and one body to live it with. Too many people treat their bodies like they're disposable. My mission is to help every individual that I work with realize that their body is essentially all that they have and it's extremely important that they keep it mobile, strong, and healthy. Food is fuel, and we all need to be more aware of what we're fueling our bodies with. Some people are simply careless, but others just don't know. Knowledge is power and my goal is to provide that knowledge. Everyone deserves a fair chance at a healthy, happy life :)

Try And Hold Me Back.

First off, I got a new book written by the founder of a fabulous organization and I'm very excited about it. If you have a second, visit the website for To Write Love On Her Arms (twloha.com) and read about this movement. It's an amazing non-profit organization raising money for an even more amazing cause. Thanks guys!! :)

Single Digits!!! I met with Aaron on Wednesday this week and my body fat is officially in the single digits. I'm sitting at 9.7% and 142 lbs. I dropped 2.1% since my last check in and that's with a trip back home in between! I killed that shit (pardon my french). I tend to turn into a sailor when I get excited. I'm extremely proud of myself for maintaining self control and adhere to my strict diet plan while being surrounded by ALOT of tempting foods. I'm still ahead of schedule and it feels great, especially since this is the first time that I've ever done this. It definitely feels a lot more natural now. My body has started to adjust to the extremes a little bit more than it initially had. It's not easy, or fun at times, but this whole process is making me a mentally, physically, and emotionally stronger woman. And there is no price tag on that.

I feel unstoppable. I have a fire in my eyes that wasn't there before. I'm on a mission to achieve something that I've wanted for over 3 years. Something that I was too timid to try and tackle before. This desire to be great is a new one for me. And I love it. I get chills down my spine when I think about the goal I've set out to accomplish. This is the first time in my life that I've been emotional (in a good way) about a goal. I get tears in my eyes thinking about all the support that I have, how far I've come, and how hard I've been pushing myself for this. It's a feeling that I hope everyone is able to reach at some point in their life. It's a feeling of KNOWING you are a damn rock star and the only thing that can stop you is yourself, but there's no way that will happen because you want it too damn bad. You learn to ignore the pain because the pain of life will never stop. You simply have to channel it into something that means the world to you. Then, you conquer it. It's empowering. It's motivating. Nothing can stop you. It's inspiring to you AND to those around you. And when you start to inspire yourself, you know you're doing something right. Fear has kept me from stepping on that stage in the past, but it has nothing on me this time around. Try and hold me back now fear.... JUST TRY!!!

Let It Go.

If you are still holding on to people, feelings, and/or negative effects from past experiences that may have left you feeling defeated, hurt, broken, betrayed, lost, or even empty. Think of them as leaves of a tree. Every year they brown, fall off, and blow away. And guess what?!? That's exactly what makes room for more to grow fresh, green, healthy, and NEW!!!

The weight of what has happened in your past isn't worth carrying around. If you let go of what you no longer have the power to change, you will make room for bigger and better things. The world is waiting for you.

Let it go.

:)

Recap

I haven't posted since March 23rd. Woah. I knew it had been a while, but it has been longer than I originally thought! A lot has happened in the past few weeks. Let me tell you what.

1) I got a new clipboard!!! Life changing.

2) I got brand spankin' new ceramic pots and pans!!! I am VERY excited about these and I don't need to explain myself.

3) I ordered 2 more Glasslock food container sets. Even MORE excited about these!! The above statement also applies here.

4) I'm starting to see crazy changes in my body. There are muscles popping up that I've never been able to see before. I'm starting to see the striations in my shoulders (very cool) AND my 6 pack has started to come in. Pumped!!! This has been a "future" goal of mine for QUITE sometime now. I can't stop smiling about the progress I have made. 7 MORE WEEKS!!!

5) Roscoe and I packed up and drove down to Illinois for 5 days to visit my family, friends, and celebrate my niece's 1st birthday! Good times.

Let's talk about the hardest part of the 5 hour drive back home real quick. It's not being able to snack on things that I normally would on the way. Sad, but true. I usually take 2 Quest bars (one white chocolate raspberry and one cookie dough), an apple or a banana, and peanut butter!! That wasn't the case this time around. The trip there wasn't too bad because it was my high carb day (300g)!!! I was able to eat 1 cup of cottage cheese and some blackberries and my favorite little "desert" concoctions, which is 1 cup of oats (this amount varies on high or low carb day), 1 scoop chocolate protein powder, and 3 tbsp of PB2 (powdered peanut butter). Soooooooo damn GOOD!!!! On the drive home, however, I had two little tubs of raw green veggies... (sad trombone sound). I drove home on Monday, which was a low cab day (25g) and I ate those for breakfast. Sweet potato of course!! :)

It takes a lot of planning and prepping to travel during show prep. I made 30 meals and packed them up in a cooler that I could fit in myself. No, I'm not exaggerating. The best part about having to haul that colossal thing around was that it forced me to FINALLY take the 8 bags of old clothes that had been occupying my trunk for the better half of a year, to Goodwill. Yeah, you read that right. A whole year. Aaaaaaaand I may or may not have driven by that same Goodwill about 100 times in that year. Don't judge me. 

My sister did an amazing job planning Millie's party. She had handmade decorations, she started new traditions, there was delicious smelling food (wouldn't know how it tasted because I couldn't eat any), and ice cold drinks! Back to the food. I hadn't really craved anything up until this point (except for peanut butter... for obvious reasons) mainly because I hadn't been around any foods other than what I had been making for myself and my clients. Although, the food I make for my clients is still pretty hard enough to say no to at times! I haven't gone to restaurants, or been to parties for this very reason. There are too many temptations when all you really want to do is eat some naughty foods!!! And it's not like the food was extravagant. It was simple. But everything looked and smelled phenomenal. I must say, that was the first time I had ever drooled over the sight and smell of a ham and cheese deli sandwich. I could have gone for about 6 of them, a deviled egg... or 10, a few mini cupcakes, or a full block of cheese. I even day dreamed about eating the remanence of Millie's smash cake. Extreme, I know. But it happened.

Side Note: Babies and smash cakes are the BEST!!!!

I did my best to stay busy chatting and utilized the deck (where there was no food) as much as possible!!! All exaggeration aside, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, it was tough, but I lived to write this blog entry about it, right?!? 

The first year of Millie's life flew by WAY too fast. It feels like she was just born 3 months ago. I think her parents would fully agree with me on that. She's such a cool little human though. She's so damn smart! I predict that she's going to be a nerdy little heartbreaker, which is quite the combo. She has an amazing personality and I can't wait to see what the next few years have in store. My sister is going to have their hands full!!

Most of my trip was spent with family, but I also got to meet up with some great friends! I've been spending a lot of time alone up here in Minneapolis due to my crazy schedule with work and this show prep, so it was soooooooooo nice to spend some quality time with my favorite group of girls back home. I love you guys to pieces and I can't wait to see you at my show at the end of May!!!

 I also got the chance to lift with one of them. We had been planning to do that for a long time and things just never quite worked out. But we got it done this time around! I met her at QC Strongman where she goes on a regular basis to lift. It was fun to see her in her element! I always enjoy lifting at new gyms. To me, it's like trying a new restaurant! So I was super pumped. Plus, it was deadlift day!!! One of my favorites :) She wanted me to take a look at her form and give her some pointers. So we did just that. It was a successful lifting session. She is very quad dominant, so I broke things down for her in a way that she needed to hear it in order to help her fully understand what she needed to add/subtract from her routine in order to strengthen the weaker areas (glutes and hamstrings) that are the cause of her lower back pain during her lifts. She had a bit of an "aha moment", which is one of the coolest things to see as a coach. It's that moment when your client gets that look on there face that tells you that the light bulb just turned on!!! "I feel it where I'm supposed to now!" I just talked to her yesterday and she said she had just had an awesome deadlift session on Thursday. She's feeling the difference of the small changes we made while I was back. She works her ass off and deserves to feel accomplished when she walks out of the gym after her deadlift sessions, not frustrated. I think she's on the road to doing just that and I couldn't be happier.

Until next time!

:)