The Schedule

It's Tuesday, which means I only have to make it through today and tomorrow. Why? Because I can eat peanut butter on Thursday!!! BOOYAH!!! I'm not sure if you realize how much I love peanut butter. If it weren't frowned upon, I would eat the whole jar in one sitting. Okay, I'm being dramatic. Half of the jar... (hehe)

It's crazy to think that in 16 weeks I will be in the best shape of my life. I know it's going to be a grueling process and there will be times when I'll want to give up, but I have too much riding on this to quit. I have to prove to myself that I can transcend the bullshit that went down during the past 7 months. I'm not as weak as I once felt. I won't let anyone dim my shine. I am relentless. And I plan to prove it. If you knock me down, I will jump back up and impress the fuck out of you with what I do next. It's empowering. I won't lie, the rug was pulled out from under me and thrown back in my face multiple times. 

I was let down by someone that I never thought would let me down in the way that they did. The only thing left to do is keep moving forward and to focus on becoming the me that I want to be. And that's exactly what I'm doing. This physique competition is going to challenge me in ways that I have NEVER challenged myself before. It will take a tole on me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I will have to dig deeper than I have ever had to dig before. The idea of this excites me. The old me would have ran away screaming at the thought of this. I was forced to grow more in the past 7 months, than I have in the past 7 years of my life. I never want to go through that again, but I'm glad that I dealt the way that I did. I'm still pinching myself to make sure that this is real life! I'm going to do this competition, and I'm going to do it with the biggest smile on my face! I'm eager to check this off of my list and equally as eager to share the experience with you. 

I'm going to paint a little picture for you. It will help you to truly understand the process and how much commitment it takes to do what I, and many others, are doing. The amount of planning that goes into this would be overwhelming for most. It takes a certain kind of person.

The Schedule

I go to bed between 7 and 7:30 on a daily basis. Social life? What is that? In order to wake up when I need to wake up, I have to go to bed early. It's as simple as that. It's part of the sacrifice. I wake up between 3 and 3:30 every morning. As a personal trainer my work day starts at 5am most days, so the earlier I get up, the better. I like to get my workouts in before my first session when possible and I need quality sleep to get the most out of them. I don't think a lot of people really understand the importance of getting a good night's rest. Sleep deprivation can lead to major health risks like:

Heart disease

Heart attack

Heart failure

Irregular heartbeat

High blood pressure

Stroke

Diabetes

Getting a sufficient amount of sleep also plays a critical role in thinking and learning. Lack of sleep hurts these cognitive processes in many ways. First, it impairs attention, alertness, concentration, reasoning, and problem solving. This makes it more difficult to learn efficiently. Second, during the night, various sleep cycles play a role in “consolidating” memories in the mind. If you don’t get enough sleep, you won’t be able to remember what you learned and experienced during the day! NO BUENO!!!!! Aaaaaaaand that concludes my tangent. What was I talking about? Oh yes, "The Schedule."

The details that I've put into this would make most people cringe. One word, spreadsheets!!!! I've created EXTREMELY detailed spreadsheets for each week. They include what day it is in the carb cycle (high or low carb), my meals for each day, when I'm supposed to eat those meals, what muscle group I'm scheduled to lift each day, and last but not least, my macro nutrient breakdowns. No, I'm not "shitting you." I eat 6 meals and have to distribute my protein equally over each meal, my carbs equally over 5 meals (no carbs in the last meal), and my fats equally over all 6 meals. THIS is what takes the most planning.

I'm going to learn A LOT during this process and I'm extremely excited about that. Hell, I've already learned a significant amount and it's only week 2 of 17!!! I'm going to hang up the phone here as I have to get my things ready for tomorrow and head to bed in the next half hour. I'll pick up where I left off in the next post. Thanks for reading :)

Until next time!

Women Who Lift: We Won't Apologize For It!

First off, I just have to say that I'm sitting here on a Monday morning at my desk. The sun hasn't come up, candles are lit (house smells heavenly), and the only sound I can hear is the crackling of the fire in the fire place. This my friends, is relaxation... (sigh) :) Now, back to business.

More and more woman are developing a passion for fitness and building lean muscle, which excites me to no end! Unfortunately, there will always be people out there who will doubt them for it. Don't get me wrong, there are men that receive a lot of flack for this as well, but people tend to be much more accepting of a man wanting to put on muscle than they are of a woman. My good friend Rachel and I recently had a conversation about this and how difficult it can be to live a clean eating lifestyle. Just like any thing else, sometimes it almost feels like it's hard to "fit in" when you aren't surrounded by people who share the same passion as you. Whether you are a man or a woman, if you live this lifestyle, you get a lot of grief for not wanting to go out for happy hour or for not "living a little." Since when does living have to involve me getting drunk or eating foods that will hinder what I have been working my ASS off trying to accomplish? It makes no sense to me. We all need to take a step back and have a little respect for others priorities. If you don't agree with the way I live my life, that's fine! You're entitled to your own opinion. But please keep it to yourself, because I'm too busy over here loving what I do to worry about you and your negative thoughts! (peace sign)

Unfortunately woman are placed under extra scrutiny for having a passion for bodybuilding. If I had a dollar for the number of times that I heard, "muscular women are unattractive." I'd be a millionaire! This is something that frustrates me to no end and it's partially because of my profession, but it's also because I've experienced first hand the effects that this lifestyle has on a person and it's nothing but POSITIVE!!!! You develop a whole new attitude and eagerness to push yourself to new limits. It's exhilarating. I work with woman of all ages on a daily basis. Woman who's lives have changed because they decided to start putting their health and happiness first. They now have confidence they never had before. Some of the woman I work with, and men for that matter, would never have dreamed of setting foot in a gym on their own before now. They have become self efficient in more ways than one. They've created a belief system in themselves that no one can fuck with. This is what drives them. This is what keeps them coming back. They've proven to themselves that they can do something that they once never thought they could. And THAT is why this lifestyle is amazing. We were given these bodies for a reason. And I know damn well that it wasn't to sit around and be lazy feeling sorry for ourselves. Our bodies are capable of doing amazing things. We just have to put in a little effort to take care of them. Fuel them with proper nutrition and challenge them once in a while! Like our brains, if we aren't challenging our bodies on a daily basis, they will never improve. 

As a female personal trainer and bodybuilder, I get a lot of love and support form the people around me because I work in the fitness industry. The majority of the people that I encounter on a daily basis look up to me and are inspired by what I do, but there are always those few who just don't understand why I would want to "look like a man." (insert eye roll here).  I can only explain it like this. It's a passion for something that sometimes can't be fully explained to those who don't have the same drive. It's the feeling I get when I put my hands on the cold metal and get set for that first set of deadlifts. It makes my heart race. It makes me feel unstoppable. Yes, I am a woman, yes I lift heavy shit and care about what I put in my body, and no, I could not care less about what you haters think because I love this shit. And if you ask me; a strong, smart, confident, independent woman with a little muscle on her is the sexiest thing on this planet!!!

The End.

Taking That Leap

It's 5:45 on a Sunday morning and I'm eating my breakfast as I begin to write this. Breakfast is my FAVORITE meal of the day. I mean, I literally jump out of bed ready to eat! That is the kind of love I have for this meal. But with this show prep comes restrictions, and my fairly tail breakfast will soon become a distant memory (sigh). Although, I will say that what I'm eating at the moment is pretty damn tasty!

1 egg, 1/2 cup egg whites, 10g sundries tomatoes, handful of spinach, and a pinch of pepper and garlic salt (scrambled). 1//2 cup of oats. (Yes, plain old oats) with some cinnamon sprinkled on top! :)

This is the first week of the diet for my show and I feel pretty good so far! It's different, but it's good! For the past 3 years I've payed close attention to what I put in my body, but this is the first time that I have ever done carb cycling. And it's going to get pretty intense when it's all said and done! I'm kind of excited about it in a twisted way. I like the idea of challenging myself in a way that I never have before. It's part of growing as a person. We have to step outside of our comfort zones once in a while and see what we're capable of! This is one of the main reasons I decided to do this show. I am absolutely TERRIFIED of being in front of people. Speech class in high school and college were torture for me. I hated it. My face gets bright red, my voice quiver, and my heart races. EVERY TIME!!! It's brutal. But there comes a time in life when we can't sit back and let our fears and other excuses decide for us. We have to figure out what it is that is going to make us happy and go for it! Take risks. LIVE A LITTLE!!!!

As I said before, I've wanted to do it for a couple years now and it took up until August of 2016 for me to saddle up and decide it was time to prove to myself that I can do something that I once never DREAMED I'd be able to do. If you were to have bumped into me on the street 5 years ago and asked me where I saw myself in 5 years, there is NO FLIPPIN' WAY that I would have said, "I'll be a successful personal trainer up in the Twin Cities, running my own meal prep business, prepping for my first physique competition, and writing a blog about it." This just goes to show how much can change in the course of a few years. Life is crazy! I'm constantly amazed. Sometimes I just sit back and think about how far I've come and the people that I've met along the way. All of these people changed my life in some way shape or form. It's amazing to me. Okay, that ends my tangent. Back to the carb cycling!! :)

This will seem extremely boring for some of you, but it's a HUGE part of what I'm doing and since this blog is basically my exposed diary of the next 16 weeks, you get to hear all about it anyway! Sorry I'm not sorry ;) I'll be eating low carb for 5 days in a row (Saturday - Wednesday), and high carb for two days (Thursday and Friday). This is carb cycling in a nutshell. The way this works is every week he will drop my carbs on the low carb days and bump them up on the high carb days. The goal is to get as low as possible on the low carb days and to get as high as possible on the high carb days. What this does is it tricks my body into remaining in high fat burn mode while still building lean muscle. Low cab days consist mainly of lean proteins, healthy fats, and green veggies. I can also have oats, rice, and sweet potato, etc. as my main energy sources for workouts on these days, but they have to meet the macro nutrient guidelines. For example today I'm allotted 180g protein, 125g carbs, and 60g fat. My protein will basically remain the same through out the 17 weeks. My fat numbers will drop a little each week, but my carbs are what will drastically change. On low days they will drop not only weekly, but sometimes daily depending on how my body is responding. And they will continue to go up on high days. HELL YEAH!!! These days will be my saving grace as I can eat peanut butter AND cottage cheese!!! These are two of my favorite things. HALLELUJAH!!! If you hang in there and continue to read future posts, you'll get to experience the mood swings that carb cycling brings. If nothing else, I'll provide you with free entertainment! And hopefully some good information and motivation.

Until next time! :)

Becoming The Best Version of ME!

My life has changed dramatically over the last 3 years. I've become an extremely strong, confident, independent young woman. Before I began my journey in the fitness industry I felt lost. Had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I hadn't found my passion. I had no drive. And I literally had no idea how to fix these things. I worked a dead end job and lived pay check to pay check doing something that I didn't enjoy. I was struggling with letting the world know who I really was and I started to feel like I was drowning. Then I met someone who would change my life forever.

She showed me what hard work really looked like. She had over come battles in life that I couldn't even imagine. I looked up to her for her strength. I admired her for her courage. She was a survivor. She had passion and drive that I had never seen before and she was ALWAYS trying to better herself. She saw a greatness in me that I couldn't see in myself. She is the reason I am the person I am today. Her unconditional love and support is what finally made me realize that I have always had the ability to be great. Our journey together brought me to where I am in my life today, and I am forever grateful for that. Things may have changed, but that relationship will always mark the beginning of the new and improved me.

When the rug gets pulled out from under us, its hard to get back up, let alone know which way to go once we do. Life throws curveballs when we least expect them, but they always come for a reason. I can honestly say that I am a firm believer in that now. Everything that has happened in my life up until this point is the reason I'm writing this blog. Everything, and I mean everything, good or bad, has changed me for the better. There have been moments full of, smiles, laughter, and a whole lot of love. There have also been moments full of tears, pain, and loneliness. As difficult as these times in my life have been, they made me one strong mother fucker. And I'm not stopping now. We all have to go through the hard times to truly appreciate the good. Every scar we wear from our past makes us more resilient and eager to conquer any obstacle thrown at us.

Which brings me to the reason behind this blog. I'm on a mission to become the absolute BEST version of myself. Now that I have the passion, confidence, drive, and belief in myself to do so, it's time to make shit happen. For the past 2 years I've wanted to compete in a physique show, but my fear of being on stage in the spot light held me back. Fear and I recently had a conversation and we decided that it won't be running my life anymore. I'm in charge. And I like it! :) It's go time.